When I was a kid I wanted to be a lawyer. I loved the drama of the courtroom and the shapely, well structured persuasive arguments. I liked rules and using rules to win arguments, something I did often with my parents. I really dug the idea of convincing 12 strangers that my argument was the one with which to agree. Being a lawyer seemed like the perfect profession.
Until the day I realized that unless I was super fortunate, I would have to represent people who I didn’t agree with, or those who had broken the law. And poof: I no longer wanted to be a lawyer. This realization came at 12 years old and that summer, I was drawn into a drama program with a fantastic theatre teacher who adopted me for the next 2.5 years. With Mrs. Cosby, no relation I was told, I learned about focus, discipline, working with specificity, and I learned that in Mrs. Cosby’s opinion, I had talent.
30 years later, I’m sitting in the passenger seat of a minivaan filled with clothes, prop, audio gear, costumes, make up and memorabilia. We’ve travelled approximately 12,500 miles, crossed the US twice, stats…
As we drive at warp speed toward the East Coast - home! - I am overwhelmed with emotions like excitement, dread, disbelief, sadness, pride, fear, relief and joy. i actually have no idea what to write here, being so overwhelmed. I guess I’ll wait tip tomorrow to pick this up.
Tomorrow. Well, we got into the hotel at 1am in Clyde, OH and at 3:30 am Kristen woke me up and told me that we’re leaving - I don’t know if she couldn’t sleep or what but we got on the road. I fell asleep for four hours - we had breakfast and I slept another 2 hours - so eight hours approx, and choppy, but ok and now we’re three hours from home in NJ. Then after Krsten drops me up, she has a 3.5 hour drive home to her place in CT.
I’m feeling less overwhelmed by going home. I made a to do list - always helpful in containing the overwhelm. I think I’m also so groggy that I cant focus on all those feelings I had.
I’m mostly just so excited to see my kid and to take a shower in my bed and sleep in my bathroom. Oh, you know what I’’m talking about.
I also have a feeling that I’m going to get home and realize that I lived for 2 months without all the crap in my apartment and I am going to do a purging. Slow, but coming.
The scenery is looking very familiar - and I’m flashing through the desert of New Mexico, Devil’s Valley in Phoenix (into CA), The mountains of Montana and Utah, the Pacific and Big Sur and the plains of Nebraska and thinking of all I’ve seen out of these two windows for 12,500 miles across this country.
Kristen and I are having a great conversation - half wrapping things up, half planning for future gigs, etc. ’Til next time. Thank you/closure blog to come.