San Luis Obispo — GALA, the Gay and Lesbian Association — is a cozy and well appointed little center, which apparently looks very welcoming — I was performing in their front living room area and right smack in the middle of the show, a delivery guy came in and in booming, leading man voice asked, “Do you have a bathroom here? I need to use the bathroom.” Kristin, the organizer of the youth program, said, “Sure, down here to the right.” He replied, “Thank you, it’s an emergency.” And headed down into the center. Wondering if I needed to address this in some way, I continued on with the show - until he almost came back through, but was thwarted by the receptionist who directed him out the side door. “Thank you” he boomed on his was out, while I was in the middle of talking about suicide.
Some people are pretty clue free.
But if it was truly an emergency, if he’s incontinent, if he ate something that didn’t agree with him, then it was truly an emergency and it was understandable that he missed the dozens of chairs facing one direction and the one person in front speaking, emoting, putting her heart out on the line…
I had a good show. My first performance of I AM ENOUGH in 6 days. The hiatus was nice, but I was definitely ready to get back to work last night. It was a very kind audience - about 12 youth and 2 to 4 advisors. They were mostly between 16 and 20. And they laughed - they needed to laugh. It was really nice. They had a good time — serious subject and all. They were super open and kind. And afterwards, most of all of them came up to me and said hi and talked to me about their situations and how they were doing. Many were dealing with rejection from families over being trans*. It was heartbreaking to hear about the struggles they were having being accepted by their families. Most of them reported struggling with feelings around taking their lives.
There is a need for this show.
They all agreed with me that if we could all talk about suicide with people who are not going through suicidal feelings without the person we’re talking to shitting themselves, the world would be a better place. We need more places to talk about suicide, honestly and openly. This show is about making that point, with the hopes that more people will talk about it more freely. It’s vital.
Someone asked me if it was difficult to do this show over and over again. I said, “Well, before the show, I tend to get super nervous. Which is really unusual, ‘cause I don’t typically get nervous before shows. But with this show, as I’m preparing to do the opening, I get knots in my stomach. And I realized that this was dread. I was experiencing the dread that I felt as a kid, growing up in my parent’s house. So, yeah, that part is hard, but once I get on stage, I’m done with it and then I’m off to the races.” I had just made that discovery about 2 shows ago. So, anyone who’s reading this and heard something else, like, “Nope, it’s not hard for me at all.” I wasn’t in touch. FYI.
There were beautiful people at this show.
I have to say, I found San Luis Obispo quite awesome. And the surrounding towns, totally great. I really loved the area. I’m sad to leave the area. And I hope to come back.
And there were definitely a number (like three or four) youth’s lives which were really touched by the show.
It’s going great. Sometimes it feels like we're never going home and sometimes it feels like it's right around the corner. Kristen says, it's not like that for her. She just feels like we're here now. Present. I just have flashes.
Onto Santa Cruz.
THANK YOU GALA - San Luis Obispo!