My Amazing Kid

Yesterday, my kid and I were speakers at a PFLAG meeting (parents and friends of lesbians and gays) that we were invited to so we could talk about our experiences.  My kid, Z, is a genderfuck/genderqueer/gender-questioning, pansexual.  He's been out to me for about 3 years, I guess.  He was born a girl, is not trans, but does prefer male pronouns, male clothing and identifies as genderqueer, which he defines as being both male and female.  

I was so proud of Z and how he handled himself at the meeting.  So articulate and insightful and thoughtful.  I shared a story about how I had a small fit when Z told me he was my "child" and no longer my "daughter.:"  I was so attached to the idea of having a daughter.  I holed myself up in my room and had a little quiet tantrum and then I got over myself and realized that Z is who Z is and it's got nothing to do with me.  And from then on, I've been great with him.  And we have a great relationship.  

In fact, Z commented to me about how weird it is to her to hear his friends complain about their parents.  I made an offhand remark that those parents probably don't respect their kids as individuals.  They think they get some kind of say about who the kids are - but they don't.  They get say about what they DO, but WHO THEY ARE is just set.  And it's not personal. 

It was a great experience for me and Z - together and individually.  Thank you PFLAG Collingswood for being so welcoming.

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