Yes, VD is Sunday and so many people are gearing up. Victoria's Secret is on overdrive, as is Sephora and the romantic hot spots all across this country. So, in honor of this most plastic of holidays, I thought I'd write a little on relationships.
I've been watching Six Feet Under for the past month or more and the lead character's romantic relationship with his boyfriend is one that has really moved me. They've gone from living together while David is not willing to be out to breaking up because of that, to Keith having another relationship, to David and Keith realizing how much they love one another, to David and Keith moving back in together, to them having problems (Keith being very angry because he lost his job), going to couples therapy and learning how to speak to one another productively, to ending their extra-relationship casual affairs, to, now, working on adopting a baby. This fictional relationship is actually inspiring to me. (I haven't got to the end of the series yet, so don't spoil it for me if they end up breaking up or something fucked up happens with them.)
I think what really impresses me about the depiction of this fictional couple is that they really showed both characters at their worst in the relationship. Keith was a complete asshole for at least most of a season and David was so needy and mealy mouthed. I kept hoping David would break it off with Keith and find someone worth him. He didn't, and he did. Meaning: he didn't break it off with Keith and he did find someone worth him, Keith. It makes me wonder if that isn't what everyone means by 'sticking it out through thick and thin.' That the person that you love, the person that you want to love you, is inside that person you're with (even when they're an asshole), you just have to stick around long enough for him (or her) to come through.
I've never been much for long term relationships romantically. My friendships, on the other hand, last decades. But my relationships fizzle out after 2 years or less. The one relationship I had for longer (5.5 years), we fought for every moment of that relationship. Neither one of us would give up. Until we did. And then it was over.
I'm in a relationship now that I want to fight for. I believe in this relationship and this woman and she is so special to me. I know we've only been together 8 months, but it's definitely serious and I definitely feel fulfilled by and with her. I'm sure we'll have our problems, but I also think we'll work through then. Well, I intend to on my part. I think she's definitely worth it and I feel I want to be worthy of her, so I want to fight for us. For now, things are not quite in the honeymoon phase, but we're definitely getting along really well. Which, feels really good.
We won't be celebrating VD as we don't believe in the holiday. We will be together for part of the day, at least, and that's good. But we're not going to be exchanging gifts or anything. I guess if Valentine's Day is worth anything, it's a reminder that we should cherish those lovers in our lives...and if we need a reminder to do so...well, maybe it's time to move on.